Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
