every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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