It's a beautiful day for a hangover
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
