I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
