I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
