Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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