I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
