You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
