i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
