dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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