you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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