I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Randomize
