You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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