I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
