just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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