So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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