@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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