Sry I called you an 8
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize