In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
