You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
