Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
