I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize