at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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