no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
