I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
