i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
