carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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