some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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