whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
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