the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
