I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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