It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize