glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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