I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
