I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
