Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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