Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
