Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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