I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
