My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I will pee on everything he values.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
