why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
She's the barista slut.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
