I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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