Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i will never coherently bang her
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Never joke about your clitoris.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
