Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
You are the jesus of drinking
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
