You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
