The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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