i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Randomize
