I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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