Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize
