omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
did i just pee glitter
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
