dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
