well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
