shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
