What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
