i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
