she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
