Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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