we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
i now understand why vodka
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize