hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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