I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
