Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Randomize
