Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
